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HTTP Header Analysis

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skip to content home portfolio blog contact i create websites. not shit websites. good websites. read on some things i have made by wiggling my mouse. sheila bownas archive february 2017 identity , web build , web design genius box february 2014 web build , web design blue tomato july 2013 identity , web build , web design celtic connection february 2013 web build , web design you may notice i can do more than just design websites; i can do logos and stationery too. i can also do a great impression of an injured monkey, but now is not the time nor is it the place. read on you are not a web designer. i am the web designer. you wouldn’t tell mr. branston how to make pickle or mrs. audrey audi how to build motor cars, would you? so please, sir/madam, don’t tell me i should “bevel” things. get back to doing what you do best and let me do the web designing. if you take control, you’ll end up with a lump of dog muck, and people will laugh at it behind your back. youths will point and say: “that man didn’t listen to the web designer and his website looks shit” all i need from you is a brief. and no, the logo doesn’t need to be bigger. pipe down and have a biscuit. leave this to me. read on i may need some new cords. you may need a website. i often get asked, “how much does a website cost?” some people would respond, “how long is a piece of string?” i don’t respond like that because it’s a shit expression. the people who say that probably have long nasal hair and wear socks with sandals. the price depends on what you want me to build. here is a chart i have created that should give you an idea if you look at it with your eyes. £1,000 £2,000 £3,000 £4,000 £5,000 £6,000 £500 – £1000 logos and brands £1000 – £1500 a simple website £1500 – £3000 a website with a bit where you can log-in and change the words and pictures on the pages. £3000 – £5500 a larger website where you can list things and sell them. £5500 – £6500 a mucky website with videos of muffs, knockers and winkies* *i've never built one of these really, i just threw it in for a bit of 'spice'. i don’t take cheques they’re shit. read on am i always a dick? apparently not. strangely some of my clients like my approach & work. here are some of their testimonials which i wrote for them. “smelt of meat but good at making websites, we received lots of praise for ours and were pleasantly surprised at the cost.” · marc dingle - blue tomato · “bit of a twat at times but then our site looks good and we're hoping to work with him again in the future.” · alex stanley - celtic connection · “i'm almost certain he was using the toilet once when i spoke to him. really pleased with the website he made for us. ” · andy reid - genius box · read on what am i? i am a male human. for over 15 years, i have designed websites. prior to that, i was a recruitment consultant; people spat at me in the streets and shouted, “you’re nearly as bad as an estate agent”. i work out of a small office in falmouth, cornwall. i generally sit here in my saggy tracksuit bottoms listening to billy joel whilst i work. but none of that matters really, does it? i mean, you wouldn’t be bothered if i rode a slutty horse whilst wearing crotchless knickers as long as i built a good website, would you? what’s that? you would? oh, i’m a pervert, am i? it takes me longer than it should to build websites because i’m all picky about things being proper. i’m a bit like the furniture maker who sands and varnishes the underside of a cabinet. yes, that’s right; it’s a bit stupid and isn’t a “viable business model.” i wish i could be ruthless and churn out rubbish, but i can’t. i like to think i’m fair and honest, a bit like mike from the garage who shows me the parts he’s replaced and tells me about his athlete’s foot. except i won’t show you my fungal infections. i’ll just charge you a fair price and do the job properly. and yes, i’m the same idiot who sold a piss-free wetsuit for £9,000. read on please don’t call me. unscheduled phone calls make me want to murder, but there are other ways to get in touch with me. you could attach a note to the collar of a fox and tell him about the loose lid on my bin. alternatively, send me a message using the form on the contact page or, preferably, you could send an email to dan at alittlebitofsomething with a “dot co dot uk” at the end. from there we can arrange a phone or skype call and i’ll tell you about the time i got stuck in the loft. i’m not putting my address on here because i’ll end up on a mailing list for some weird religious cult that needs money for new robes. i don’t have a fax machine anymore. i threw it out in 1991 along with my joe bloggs jeans and a double cassette album called deep heat. get in touch blog april 2017 time managing i am shit at time management. here are some things i have discovered that make me less shit. they might help you also and i'm all for helping humanity because i am essentially a good person apart from the arson. april 2015 my neighbour roger. he’s a retired lunatic of a neighbour who doesn't like my parking. a tale of his irrational verbal assault, attempted physical attack and a letter i'm not sure i should post. twitter facebook ©2018 a little bit of something | privacy policy

URL analysis for alittlebitofsomething.co.uk

http://www.alittlebitofsomething.co.uk/blue-tomato/
http://www.alittlebitofsomething.co.uk/portfolio/
http://www.alittlebitofsomething.co.uk/#contact
http://www.alittlebitofsomething.co.uk/#portfolio
http://www.alittlebitofsomething.co.uk/#about
http://www.alittlebitofsomething.co.uk/time-managing/
http://www.alittlebitofsomething.co.uk/#content
http://www.alittlebitofsomething.co.uk/genius-box/
http://www.alittlebitofsomething.co.uk/roger/
http://www.alittlebitofsomething.co.uk/privacy-policy/
http://www.alittlebitofsomething.co.uk/#process
http://www.alittlebitofsomething.co.uk/#pricing
http://www.alittlebitofsomething.co.uk/blog/
http://www.alittlebitofsomething.co.uk/#testimonials
http://www.alittlebitofsomething.co.uk/a-fcking-wetsuit-for-9-grand-what/

Whois Information

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Error for "alittlebitofsomething.co.uk".

the WHOIS query quota for 2600:3c03:0000:0000:f03c:91ff:feae:779d has been exceeded
and will be replenished in 490 seconds

WHOIS lookup made at 04:19:17 19-Jul-2017

--
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  REFERRER http://www.nominet.org.uk

  REGISTRAR Nominet UK

SERVERS

  SERVER co.uk.whois-servers.net

  ARGS alittlebitofsomething.co.uk

  PORT 43

  TYPE domain

DISCLAIMER
This WHOIS information is provided for free by Nominet UK the central registry
for .uk domain names. This information and the .uk WHOIS are:
Copyright Nominet UK 1996 - 2017.
You may not access the .uk WHOIS or use any data from it except as permitted
by the terms of use available in full at http://www.nominet.uk/whoisterms,
which includes restrictions on: (A) use of the data for advertising, or its
repackaging, recompilation, redistribution or reuse (B) obscuring, removing
or hiding any or all of this notice and (C) exceeding query rate or volume
limits. The data is provided on an 'as-is' basis and may lag behind the
register. Access may be withdrawn or restricted at any time.

  REGISTERED no

DOMAIN

  NAME alittlebitofsomething.co.uk

NSERVER

  NS1.GRIDHOST.CO.UK 95.142.155.4

  NS2.GRIDHOST.CO.UK 185.52.27.27

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